Once upon a time (when the phrase ‘once upon a time’ wasn’t used as a cop-out to start a story) a sleepy old cat called Emily sat on the moon, attempting to twiddle the thumbs she didn’t actually have. She spent her days on the big dairy rock playing with her canine friend Tom who also quite enjoyed watching Emily try twiddling those ever so out-of-her-grasp appendages. “Ahh,” she exclaimed silently one day as she munched on the moon cheese like she did daily. “I do wish there was more to eat here.”
“Woof.” Tom mouthed, in his usual way. It’s not like either of them could hear each other anyway. There’s no sound in space after all.
“Ahh, yes. You can’t speak, I do always forget.”
“Woof.” The mute dog replied with the same deadpan expression as he usually had.
“I know, I know. No need to be rude.” She scoffed at the bewildered mutt as she began to stride slowly from her lactose throne. “Now, what to do. What to do…” She thought, staring down to Earth where her owner lived, and where all her feline friends were too. She sighed, Emily couldn’t even remember how she got to the moon, let alone how she would get back. She placed her paws next to her face, as usual, and began spinning her clawed fingers in tiny little circles; the closest to twiddling she could get. It didn’t take long until the poor mog drifted off to sleep, with only the silence of space to keep her company.
Prod, prod, prod.
Emily awoke to a furry finger poking against her cute white face. As she looked up, a large monkey wearing a large space-helmet, like one from the films Emily could remember watching with her owner. A cute little grin came across her face as she looked past the simien to see a large, silver, welcoming space ship with Tom sticking his head out of one of the four huge porthole windows. Emily looked back at the monkey, ignoring her own gorgeous reflection in the mirror-like glass. As her eyes looked up she noticed something off, something moving in the animal’s helmet, something mechanical. She had never seen anything like it before, but it didn’t seem malicious. Before she could define it, the monkey picked her up and held her to it. “Oh my, put me down you brute!”
The ape didn’t respond, instead he (by this point, Emily was assuming it was a he) tucked the kitty under his arm and slowly brought her back to the ship.
The sudden drop from zero gravity to whatever on Earth the entirely silver spaceship had took a little toll on the young cat, of course, it was nothing she couldn’t take. She struggled at first (once the “big mean monkey” loosened his grip of course) but eventually she got used to the fact she could no longer float. Tom was sitting on the shiny floor, looking all confused but as happy as always.
Emily sighed, she was finally on her way home. The spaceship was definitely not welcoming though; it was, as previously mentioned, completely silver, four circular windows running up the north wall and, just as you would imagine, a great big computer screen with the faces of two large, wise-looking men. Emily jumped as she hadn’t even noticed the scary men staring at him; they muttered something in human which, of course, Emily couldn’t understand. Something along the lines of “Finally, we thought we lost them.”
The monkey sat down and, thinking of him as the head of the chain of command, Emily sat with him. Awaiting the spaceship to take her back to her owner, safe and sound.
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